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Luoyang, China: Jin dynasty 303 discovered

16 Jul 2003

Archaeologist The Museum has received news that a complete early 303 has been found by archaeologists from Nanjing University conducting excavations in the Luoyang district of China.

The age of artefacts found in close proximity to the Bassline suggest that it dates back to the Jin dynasty (CE 265 - 420) and as such may be one of the oldest intact asian acid boxes discovered.

The co-ordinator of the dig, Professor Zhang Liangtao, immediately announced in a press conference an ambitious plan to attempt to restore the instrument to full working order:

The next steps in our research now become clear: first, to show that techno, in a form recognisable to our modern sensibilities, had spread deep into Asia by the time Buddhism reached China - or, indeed, pre-dated Buddhism in this region; and second, to burn the floor with scorch-marks of pure acieed.
The Museum's curator, Dr Donald Wiltshire, commented:
Fair plays to the feller, geezer knows his fucking acid, y'know? Some of his theories are controversial - particularly in the West, and there's perhaps a hint of international politics involved in fuelling that controversy - but that guy can thrash a crowd, live, with a 303, and a 909, and fuck all else, every fucking time, and that's no word of a lie.
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